For some reason I cant get it right..

I know I have been gone for a few days but I have been having the time of my life with my favorite uncle...family seems to always brings out the best in you. However, remember the other day I had made up my mind to move past Marcus and give James a try..well I was a little too late...James has a girl now... I might would be ok with that but you wasnt even man enough to tell me you just got lost.... I cared for and was ready to devote time and energy but you led me on or maybe I led myself into thinking him and I had a chance... I told God I'm tired..I feel like I'm still being punished for the Marcus relationship so I have decided to concentrate solely on me! I faked and told his azz I understand, enjoy, take care... I really wanted to say, kiss my azz, you just like the rest of them Negroes... I thought you were so different, I hyped you up & everybody truly believed in him when I didn't but its the way he did... I cant get it right maybe I'm going to grow old alone.... Who knows but I need God to fix me cause seems like everybody else has it together and I dont even know where she came from I guess ATL or New York for new years... I wish them luck...